You may be hesitant to share with others that your child took their own life. While we cannot determine what is right for you, many survivors share that they are glad that they decided to be honest about the facts of the death. One of the most important reasons to be honest about the way your child died is that it will give your friends and family the opportunity to support you in an appropriate way. Many people also find that support groups for suicide survivors can be open spaces where stories can be shared and healing can begin. 

If you have younger children, you may be wondering how to talk to them about their sibling’s death by suicide. Many parents share a desire to protect their children from this traumatic experience. While it is up to you to determine how to share this information, children can benefit from a simple & honest explanation about how their sibling died. Without any explanation, children often create their own story to fill in the blanks, which may lead them to believe they did something wrong to cause the death.  

• Reassure children that they are not responsible, and that nothing they said or did caused anyone else to take their life. 

• Use simple explanations: 

• “Their brain was sick and they chose to die”

• “Some people have an illness called depression. Depression makes them very, very sad and confused. Suicide is when a person is so sad, they choose to die to make the sadness stop.” 

• Be prepared to talk about their sibling’s death by suicide multiple times during the first days and weeks, and later throughout the child’s life. Talk to your family & friends about how to best answer your child’s questions, so they can support you in giving consistent answers to your child. 

• Remember that it is okay to not always have the “right” words, and it is okay to show emotion. Children just need to know that it is okay to feel their emotions and ask questions.